Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts

I have a strong willed child in my home.  My wife says that my son has the hardest head of anyone she has ever met.  Which in some ways is comforting news, because until he came along she used to say it was me. 

As you probably know, a strong willed child already has his or her mind made up about anything and everything.  Your instructions are well received only as long as they comply with their predetermined decisions. 

This type of behavior can be a blessing or a curse at times.  Just a couple of days ago I had an emergency and was called out of the home early in the morning and could not be there when my children were getting ready for school.  In my absence my son did all of the things he normally does to get ready for school and then on his own volunteered himself to make everyone’s lunch for the day.  This included his mother, his sister, and himself.  His determination when channeled properly becomes a very useful asset for him and for others.
However, when it is not channeled properly it amounts to what appears to be nothing more than pure rebellion.  In which case, duct tape is not the answer.  You child will continually need clear direction, a structured environment, a disciplined example from his/her parents, a firm hand, and lots of grace.  The challenge for you as a parent is not to control your child but to properly direct his God given personality.  As parents you must be careful not to break your child’s spirit but instead, you should encourage a proper use of their gifts.

I know from experience the pressure that can be felt as a parent when others become frustrated with your child’s unique personality.  A strong willed child can be difficult to handle at school, church, or any other structured environment.  Just remember, your child is not broken.  They are still learning to become the person that God has called them to be and you are to act as their guide.  So be sympathetic with other adults that are in authority over your child; teach him to respect and obey their authority; and then pray… a lot.

The idea of masculinity is going by the wayside in our culture today.  Our society is doing everything that it can to morph men into something all together different than God originally intended.  We celebrate the young boy that sits passively in his seat, follows instruction and obeys without disruption.   We scorn the young man that has enough chivalry to say yes mam and hold the door open for a young lady because it is said to be condescending to her “independence.”  We are even performing surgeries for men who claim that there has been some sort of mistake made by God.  They claim that they are a “woman trapped in a man’s body” so we allow them to undergo a sex change.

In light of what I see going on in the world around me I have been reflecting on the values that I want to pass onto my son who is now 9 years old.  I have assembled below some masculine qualities that I want my son to have.

I picture myself standing before my son much like a king would stand before a man who is about to become a knight to remind him of the responsibility he has.  I imagine that I would say something like this:

My son, you are charged to honor God.  As a man, you are to walk in purity and live in such a way that it is obvious to those around you that God alone possesses your heart.  You are created differently than your female counterparts and will be expected to act accordingly.  It is an honor to wear the mantle of manhood and pursue God’s divine plan for your life.  Your journey will be unique; it will be an adventure; it will be difficult; it will require discipline and sacrifice; yet, it will have its reward when you have lived this life and you stand in eternity.

As a man…

1. You are a protector.  It is your duty to defend women, children, and all other members of our society that would be exploited.  It is also your duty to defend our land from both domestic and foreign enemies.
2. You are to honor the purity of young ladies. 
3. You are to work hard and earn you own way in life.
4. You are not to engage in sexual relationships with other men.
5. You are to be the spiritual leader of your home.  You alone will carry the burden to center your family around God’s Word.
6. Do not let your decisions be determined by fear.  Show courage in the face of intimidation.

Now take up your cross and follow Christ.

Raising children in our day and time presents its own unique obstacles.  Our society is changing everyday.  Apart from the character values every person should have these are the things that I think are particularly relevant to raising a young boy in our world today.

HUNTIK Secrets and Seekers
Long before recorded time, humanity was faced with an evil of unimaginable power. From the ranks of mankind arose the Seekers, those with strong will who could harness energies of the Spirit World and call forth an army of powerful Titans.
I have been watching this show (HUNTIK Secrets and Seekers) with my son over the past week on YouTube.  We do not have cable or satellite in our home so we pursue other avenues to meet our entertainment needs.  I stumbled across this show while searching for something else on YouTube and we decided to give it a try.  We have watched all 26 episodes that are posted and we both enjoyed the series very much.  So just today I was reading the above tag line along with some other information about the show and I realized that these words make me a little uneasy.  As a Christian I am very concerned about what my children think about the spiritual world.  I want them to have a Biblical view of such things.
It also occurred to me that others in Christian circles would even be critical of my choice to view this animated show with my children.  At which point I began to ask myself what other choices were out there from a Christian perspective.  I came up with Veggie Tales and Focus on the Family has the Last Chance Detectives series, but other than that I am at a loss.
So I think the question begs to be asked, “If the Church is supposed to be helping transform culture, why are we not leading the way with compelling messages in the medium that most people consume information (i.e. television or video)?”
Here is a list of the good qualities that I found in this show:
1)  Clear lines drawn between good and evil.
2)  One of the main characters experiences the power of receiving forgiveness and ultimately redemption.
3)  Good story line.
4)  Values loyalty
5)  Good portrayal of the family (Locke Lambert’s family)
6)  There is always a mission, a mystery to be solved, and of course bad guys that need a good martial arts butt kickin.
There are many other things that I found to be good qualities in this show.  I am not listing these things so that you will run out with your children and buy the DVDs or surf the net and watch it, but I do want to say that not all television is bad even if we do not agree with all aspects of the programming.  Now I am the first to tell you that we need to control what we consume because it effects the person that we are becoming so please hold the lectures.  But until Christians start leading the way in the market place of ideas we will have to learn to navigate this mine field the best we can.  If you have children, watch television with them and then talk to them about  the aspects of what you have just watched.  Teach them to think critically about what they consume and emphasize the qualities that line up with Christian values and bring to light those qualities that do not.

What have you been watching lately and why?  Is it the content, the genre, curiosity, etc…?